Don’t Always Blame Men!

The #MeToo movement started in October 2017 in an attempt to spread awareness on sexual harassment, both nationally and internationally. The first person to cut the ribbon and be convicted was Harvey Weinstein. The #MeToo popularized by Alyssa Milano has garnered a lot of attention with many A-listers coming out and speaking about it.

Yes, it is unfortunate that they were made victims of sexual harassment and the culprits need to be severely punished. Coming to India this movement has made a lot of impact. Many celebrities have come out and spoken on it, which is very commendable. The question which however rises is

WHAT WERE THEY DOING BEFORE THAT? WHY DIDN’T THEY SPEAK OUT BEFORE?

The answer is simple; THEY COULDN’T!

Since time long forgotten, women have been suppressed by the society, which includes other women as well. India has a very conservative mentality in these types of things, in letting women speak out. Although the situation has improved, it has hesitates to tell others about her situation. Why? Because that person is either her colleague or her boss. The main reason is “WHAT WILL THE SOCIETY SAY?” Now this phrase is put forward by not strangers but by her own people, who keep saying her to shut up and bear with it. One question I wanna ask to those people is “DO YOU EVEN LOVE HER?”, because if you did then you would definitely support her; you wouldn’t worry about what the society says. This is not true for all cases as there are families who support the victim and they do go to the cops, but what will you do if the cops themselves refuse to help? What will you do? Who will you go to help? So yes, the #MeToo is helping a lot of women to voice out their problems.

But do you think there was a need to start this movement in India too? No!

This movement wouldn’t have started if all of us as a society worked together for the safety of women in every field; be it at home or in work place, there would have been no need to start this movement. The #MeToo actually started in 2006, but still did not garner the needed attention then. Come 2017, it garnered much attention and it has grown to the scale that it is now. But in India most of the cases reported the culprits are the relatives and sometimes even their own family members. In those cases especially, if she’s a little girl, what will she do? Whom will she turn to if her own family treats her that way? This so “incredible supportive society” will NOT help us. Isn’t it a shame that we need such a platform for women like #MeToo? Couldn’t we, from the start, just create a society where these things don’t happen? Honestly we have nothing to be called an incredible country for. We don’t deserve this tag, not at all in a country full of sex offenders. We need these type of platform, so fully support #MeToo.

Now coming to the title of my blog ‘Don’t always blame Men’, I said that because of two reasons. The first one is that not all cases reported by women are TRUE; some of them are just to frame men. If a man mistakenly touches a girl then the girl would straight away blame the guy on charges of sexual misbehaving. There are a lot of cases where then men have been falsely accused by the girl because she wanted to garner attention. I’m not saying that men are not at fault but at the same time we are not always at fault however again, the same society tends to always listen to one side of the story not the both sides in the same way where a coin has two sides. Every story has two sides and we should always listen to both sides. Not every cases reported in the #METOO are always true! Men are also victims of false accusations, so should we also start another movement called #HeDidNot? But then again, I do not want to turn this into a war between men and women which has been raging on since the bygone years. I would also like to touch on the sensitive topic of equality. Dear women, don’t be an opportunistic feminist. Don’t go on ranting about feminism only when it suits you. Please do not. Please do not rant about feminism and equality if you are going to follow it only when it suits you. Don’t be the feminist who rants about it only when you are paid less then your male colleague but at the same keeps saying ladies first in grocery lines. Be that feminist who takes on every job does everything and follows the same rule as men only then if you are not treated the same way then we will support you but like I said do not be an ‘opportunistic feminist’.

Now coming to the second reason why I said to not always blame men is because of again, ‘the society’, which comprises of both men and women, old and young alike. It’s shocking to even see that most of the cases of sexual harassment not reported are because either the victim’s mother or the sister or any female relatives tell her not to do so. Yes, we men are the culprits, but the collective society is also equally guilty if they do not help the victim. So, my humble request to the female groups is that don’t think all men are the same; also to my fellow men, do not do such acts that bring upon shame to the male community, for your in ability to control your hormones do not tarnish the male community. Not every men is like you. And please, leave the minors alone! And my dear women, do not falsely accuse a man just because of your own greed. Do not always think that no matter what you do the blame will come to the male community.

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